How I work
Internal family systems (IFS)
Working with the different parts of you — the critic, the protector, the one that shuts down — with curiosity rather than a fight. An approach I am trained in and integrate into my work.
What IFS helps with
IFS is the approach I turn to when someone is at war with themselves. Fierce self-criticism that no amount of evidence softens. Shame that sits under everything else. The experience of watching yourself do something you have decided a hundred times not to do, as though a different part of you were driving.
It suits inner conflict particularly well — the part that wants to leave the job and the part that is terrified of the risk, both of them yours, both with a case to make. And it can be gentler than more direct approaches for people carrying early or long-running difficulty, because it does not require you to go straight at the worst of it.
Being straight with you about the evidence: IFS is not currently one of the therapies NICE recommends for any of the conditions I treat. The research is younger and thinner than the research behind CBT or EMDR, though it is growing and much of it is encouraging. It is an approach I am trained in and integrate into my work; I would not offer it as your only treatment for something with a well-evidenced alternative.
In practice that usually means IFS threaded through a course of therapy rather than replacing it — often alongside CBT or before and between EMDR work, where building a kinder internal relationship makes the rest possible.
How IFS works
IFS starts from something most people have already noticed about themselves: you are not one uniform voice. Part of you wants to go, part of you wants to stay. Part of you knows the criticism is unfair and part of you agrees with every word of it. IFS takes that literally and works with those parts as parts.
They tend to fall into recognisable roles. Managers keep you safe by running things in advance — planning, perfecting, pleasing, pre-empting. Firefighters step in once distress is already here and put it out fast, by whatever works: the drink, the binge, the scroll, the shutdown. Exiles are the young, hurt parts the other two are working so hard to keep out of sight.
The crucial move is that none of them is the enemy. The inner critic that has made your life smaller is, in this model, a part that took on a punishing job very early and has never been allowed to stop. Approached with curiosity rather than opposition, it will usually explain what it is afraid would happen if it did.
Underneath the parts, IFS proposes, is Self — the part of you that can be curious, calm and compassionate towards the rest, and that is not itself damaged. Much of the work is unblending: creating enough space between you and whichever part has taken over that you can hear it rather than be it.
Sessions are quieter and more internal than CBT. I will ask you to notice where something sits in your body, to turn towards it, to ask it what it wants you to know. If that sounds strange in writing, it usually does — and it tends to make immediate sense in practice.
What to expect
Most often IFS forms part of a wider piece of work rather than a standalone course. In the assessment we will look at what you have come for, what the evidence supports for it, and where an IFS-informed approach earns its place — and I will be explicit about which is which.
Sessions are 50 minutes, weekly at first. Early on we are mostly getting to know the protective parts — the ones that run your day — rather than going anywhere near the vulnerable ones. That order matters and is not negotiable: nothing is approached until the parts guarding it agree.
The pace is set by you, and by them. If a part is not ready, we do not push past it; we get curious about what it is protecting. People often find this the most novel part of the experience, especially if previous therapy felt like being talked out of things.
You do not need to believe in any particular model of the mind for this to be useful. Parts language is a way of working, not a claim about metaphysics — plenty of people use it while holding it lightly.
Sessions are online by secure video, wherever you are in the UK, in English or Spanish.
Common questions
Does having parts mean something is wrong with me? No. In this model everyone has parts — it is the ordinary structure of a mind, not a symptom and not a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.
Is IFS evidence-based? The research base is younger and smaller than CBT's or EMDR's, and it is growing. IFS is not currently in the NICE guidelines for the conditions I treat, which is why I use it as part of an integrative approach rather than in place of a well-evidenced treatment.
Do I have to talk to my parts out loud? Sometimes it helps, often it is internal and you tell me what came back. Nothing is compulsory and nothing is performed.
What if my inner critic is right? We are not going to argue with it. We are going to ask what it is afraid would happen if it stopped — which usually turns out to be the more interesting question.
Can I combine IFS with CBT or EMDR? Yes, and that is how I most often use it. Building a less hostile relationship with yourself frequently makes the more structured work possible.
Can sessions be in Spanish? Yes — I offer therapy in English and Spanish.
Ready to take the first step?
Send an enquiry and Gisela will be in touch within one working day.